Well, I thought it was time for a new blog post. :) I know all of my scant readers enjoy a new one every now and again, so here’s one for ya.
First off, for art:
A friend asked me to illustrate a story she wanted to turn into book… So I am brushing up on m y doodling. I hae never really liked doodling, mainly because I didn’t like how the doodles came out. If I didn’t take the time to sit there and make it look nice, I didn’t like it. So I kinda didn’t doodle much at all. But I did do a few doodles with some ideas for the book… I am trying to, even tho I’ve not done illustration before. :)
This drawing I did a couple of days ago… :)
Thought it turned out rather well. :)
Now for the books: I finally went to the library again. I’d been there once before, to get a movie, but I’ve been wanting to get some books. I had planned on getting Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen and The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, because a friend suggested it, but I forgot the authors’ names, and it was almost closing time. So I just grabbed a few other books I’ve had on my reading list for awhile:
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Girl With a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier
On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan – Sorry, Atonement got me hooked.
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
I am still reading I, Robot, but I started Life of Pi last night. I’ve seen so much about the movie, from TV, online and at the Oscars, I wanted to read the book before I watch the movie. :)
So, that’s what’s up my alley right now. :)
“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.” – E.B. White
Well, life’s been a little hectic around here. We all were sick for a few days. I almost blacked out a couple of days ago. Oh, man, that was so not fun. I think there’s some things you only need to try once to know that you don’t like them, and that’s one of those things. I hope it never happens to me again.
I actually thought I was going blind for those thirty to forty seconds that I could see anything but little blue ‘stars’ on a black background. Anybody else have that happen? I mean, sometimes when I sit up too fast, or I bend over to quickly, I have that happen. I remember once I was weeding in the garden and I stood up too fast, I got lightheaded and had it happen. But I’d never done that before. It’s not something I want to repeat at all. I’m over it now, except for a linger runny nose.
As for myself: I am so excited to have my sister[s] back in town. Jocelyn’s back from Florida, and Amanda and Isaiah have moved up here from Connecticut. I’m glad I can be in the same vicinity as my sistahs… even tho I wonder how that’s possible sometimes. :) But I’m happy to be able to be near them again.
“The only person you are destined to be is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I also had a friend ask me to do some illustrations for a children’s book she wrote. It’s a cute story about a chicken, and, tho I’m not all too keen on doing illustrations because I haven’t done any before, I am happy for the challenge. I’ve been reading a few sites with illustrators discussing things; it’s been a lot of fun actually. And it’s one more thing to talk to one of my besties with. :) I love talking art to people.
As for my own writing: I finished the book I was working on a couple of nights ago. I know, I’m psyched about it! Only a very few people actually know what that book is about. Mostly because I haven’t told anyone… I just don’t like saying, “Oh well, I’m writing this book, and here’s all the details about it.” I know I have one person interested in reading it, but I’ll confess, I’m a little frightened at letting people read what I write.
Criticism. I don’t like it, but I know it will be inevitable. Putting anything out there will attract it, whether it be good or bad. Kinda like putting my art out there, or my photography. It’s all gonna attract criticism. I can handle it, I just don’t want to deal with changing things. I mean 79,000+ words in a novel… that’s something to consider. I’ve completed one other book fully, but it’s one of those books that I want to publish in a few years. No, sorry, it’s not about myself; it’s fiction, but it’s just something I want to remain with me for awhile.
“It’s ok to start writing even if you don’t have a clear vision of what you are going to write.”
And the funny thing is, I already have the first chapter of another book started… it’s completely unrelated to the last one. I don’t know yet how this one will pan out. It’s undecided about how the cast will act and the plot. As a matter of fact, I have about one tenth of a storyline, and that’s all I have to go off of. I know, terrible. I should sit down and figure out a plot, but I am too lazy not to. Besides, I’ve never done that with any of books. I’m a terrible writer.
I’ve had a case of spring fever. I wanna get out of the house and get dirty. In a garden, in a barn, in the sun. I want to go biking, running, walking. I wanna have a beautiful, lush garden. Sit out in the sunshine and read a book with a harmonious breeze gently blowing through my hair. I want spring to come, and after I’ve hard a good Indiana spring, I want summer to come. I want to sit on the front porch and watch a midsummer lightning storm, then feel the calming scent of the oncoming rain creep over me. Oooh, I have goose bumps thinking about that. Happy memories.
I think the ‘something’s gotta give’ move has happened. I am happy with it. I can feel the winds of change blowing through my sails. I am trying to adjust to it, and tho sometimes it’s hard, I hope I am doing a good job with it. I think I will be able to look back on this time in life and be glad I am trying to be positive, I really do.
“I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday.”
Mom and I watched Road to Rodanthe. A wonderful movie, but the ending will make you cry. I cried. It’s a book by Nicholas Sparks, which I am still debating whether to read, since it’s got a sad ending… I still want to read The Notebook which is by him as well, but I don’t know about that one. I’ll have to go to the library and get a card sometime soon.
All right, that’s all I have to write about for now.
All right, here are the promised photos of my sketches. I hate saying that; most people scan their drawings; I take photos of mine. :P
So, yes, yes, tell me what you think. :) I don’t think I could ever get proportioned absolutely correct.
I finished Atonement. I am quite sure now that I will never be able to write the novel I want. “No one writing fiction in the English language surpasses Ian McEwan.” Yep. I cannot disagree. He is an amazing writer, and one I who is depressing me yet more with my futile attempts at my own work. I must say, I can imagine how Briony felt, except, her emotions were a little more muddled with guilt and grief.
I have to say, if I ever do get something published, I want to meet this guy. I want to ask him how he came up with the story; what prompted such a bad, cruel book to be written. I want to know why he chose to use the characters he did, and why not give the two lovers a ‘real’ happy ending. Why did it have to be imagined? Was it because he wanted to show the depth of Briony’s crime? Why did he give such a good life to Paul Marshall and the vain Lola? Why didn’t Lola step forth? Was she in cahoots with the attack? I want to know what prompted her silence. Why did the villain, or one of the villains, get the prize in the end?
How do people come up with such originality? Me? I feel as unoriginal as the people who write different versions o old folktales and fairy tales. I don’t feel like Jo and Tom are very original characters. They are like every other attempt at a dysfunctional but ‘perect-for-each-other’ couple I’ve pushed together.
the sun, a few moment before sunset the other day.
I just want to write something I actually like for once. But I don’t know what that is or should be about. I don’t know the people or the story they should fall into. I just haven’t met them yet. I do plan on finishing my current book, really, as soon as I can, but to have someone else read it will take something more from me. I will have to choose who will be the first. As I was thinking about this in the moments after I finished Atonement, I wondered which would be better: to have someone who knows me for who I am read it, or someone who has no clue who I am. What do you think?
Now, that that’s off of my mind for a bit [as if I could stop thinking about such a riveting, compelling and depressing book so soon!] here’s a bit that’s been happening in my life:
- Got a visit from some lovely friends of ours. I’m afraid I’m not a very good host, as I slept through most of their visit. But meeting Nancy, Gerald and Kelsey was very nice. They aren’t just faces on the computer anymore; they are real live people now. IRL. :) I like friends like that. They did a huge, ginormous favour and got some of our stuff from down at my grandpa’s house about four hours away. I have all my clothes now, and the kids have more toys, Mom’s got all of her Miche [so anyone want to get together for some Miche fun?!?!] and it’s been a big, bright, sunshiny spot in our humdrum lives right now. :)
- I haven’t done much art lately… just the horse drawings, and it’s been a couple of days since I did those. I was happy with my heads and then when I tried to do a full body drawing, it all went haywire, so I gave up. Momentarily. You know me; I’ll get it out soon enough and try again. Hopefully succeeding. I know I should be drawing so much more than I do right now, but I must admit something: the cold and boredom is wearing on me. I want some green grass to sit in in the sunshine and draw some real live birds or insects. I want that beautiful sunshine I’ve grown accustomed to and almost took for granted in Costa Rica and New Mexico. The Universe would always remind me not to when I was about to by turning it cold or making it rain. :) eheheheh. But yeah, so that’s that on the artistic front.
- Mom and I watched a movie too. [Actually I've wanted a ton of movies in the past few weeks... I won't name them all for you.] We watched The Tourist, with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. Man, dude, I cannot attempt to convey my astonishment and sheer happiness with the ending of that movie. It was amazing. I was like, ‘Mind blown.” Seriously was. Totally. It was totally an awesome movie. Definitely worth seeing. ;)
the train rushing past… as the sun was in the position in the above photo. :) It feels a little strange to be so close to those tracks again. The same tracks I lived by for over ten years. Wow. Life is full of twists and turns, and brings you to places you never thought you’d ever see again.
Geesh, this really isn’t that long, but not much has been going on in my life right now. Well, not much worth writing about. :) So I’ll leave off here. I’ve got a couple photos of the horse sketches I’ll put into another post in a couple of days. :)
as ever, [I'm off to finish a post, then get to writing a bit in my... book... thing...]
I saw my little brother sketching horses from one of the books mom picked up on one of her several trips to the library this past week, on drawing horses, so I decided to take a gander and try my hand at it too. I was actually a little envious at his drawings; he’s got a way lot of a talent, and the drawings looked awesome. I was seriously, like, “Holey-moley… he’s good.” Way better than I was at his age. I was barely reading when I was nine. Sheesh.
So I was out in the other room, getting the book. Frankly because Isaac’s drawing were a bit of a… I’ll out with it: I’m a very competitive person. As the one who has been doing art persistently for the past few years, I like it that I am an artist. But really, when I step back, there’s a lot of artistic talent in my family. Jocelyn’s always been creative and artsy; Amanda has too, though she gave up on the endevour awhile ago. Hannah can draw too, and has surprised me several times; Eric won’t try anymore… I’ve told he can if he tries more, but hey, I don’t always listen to my sibs either. Isaac and Caleb have talent way more than when I was their ages. And Lu, well, she’s five, but she loves to doodle. Samo does too. ;) His three-year-old drawings are at least the cutest. ;) While in Costa Rica one time, in Tronadora, Mom did a drawing of Samo sleeping, to send to someone. Amanda, I think. I’m not sure tho; someone here in the States. But my goodness… it was a good drawing. And it was only a few minutes that she did that. So you see, my talent is not alone in my family.
While out there, I turned on the radio and turned to one of my fave stations. I can’t help it; they play some of my fave songs all the time, and I love singing along the artists… even tho I can’t really sing. :) Some Nights by fun., It’s Time by Imagine Dragons, A-Team by Ed Sheeran. Yeah just to name a few. Then I’d switch the station and listen for awhile longer. I was sitting on the couch, and there was a blue ink pen on the table. A little flying insect was buzzing around, and I hate creepy crawlies. I guess Costa Rica kinda ruined it for me, because I used to like them. Anyways, I decided to try an ink drawing. I didn’t have any paper tho… so I used my hand:
Face definitely needs to be longer, but I like the fresh ink look. And the simplicity of the line art. I am pretty sure my tattoos will be like this. Well, at least some of them will be. :) All of the cartoon characters on my sleeve will be. ;) Making a list of them, since there are a few.
Tried my hand in my pencils on paper this time. Not as good as I hoped. :( But not as bad as they could be. :) There’s quite a few different poses and postures in this book, so I’ve got plenty of fresh images to try.
I ought to go to the library myself and see if there’s any other books like this; I’m positive I’ll find a collection, since Mom also got one of airplanes, and other flying machines for the boys too. ;)
Well, anyhoo, that’s what I did today.
It was an experiment in contrasting light and dark. Mom suggested I start with a white flower, so it would pop out of a dark background. I was hoping for something a little more dramatic. I have this image in my head, but I haven’t found any photos to use as a reference, so I haven’t attempted it yet. I should probably just sit down and draw what’s floating around in my head. *sigh*
It isn’t terrible tho. Whadya think?
“The sun had already gone below the horizon and the west was flaming gold, touched with some horizontal bars of purple and crimson.” – from The Time Machine, H.G. Wells
I think the photos kinda explain what this post is about, if the title and the quote doesn’t.
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Maya Angelou has written so many wonderful things. A few favourites of mine of her poems are Still I Rise and I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings.
Anyone else enjoy reading poetry? I love reading it… :)
I guess writing on here has been on my mind a lot more since I posted a few days ago. There’s really only a couple new things that I can write about.
Number one is that my Great-Grandma passed away this Tuesday. I was at the hospital last Monday, to see her, and I’m glad that I went. I never got to show her any artwork, because I never got to go see her until she was really sick in the hospital, and I never got to have a tea party with her like I wanted to. I wrote her letters in Costa Rica and in one of them, I promised her that I would come and have a tea party with her. I’m not gonna get to do anything with her now. It makes me so mad, because had we been able to come up here when we wanted to six months ago, then I would have been able to. But shit happens. Unfortunately.
Never gonna get to get to know her like I wanted to. Go shopping with her, help her clean her house, cook her dinners. Make her favourite oatmeal raisin cookies. She and Grandpa both loved those. I wish I could have baked her some one last time. It makes me mad. It makes me mad that things happen and we can’t do what we want. It sucks. Royally. She was ready to go tho; she’d been missing Grandpa since he died in 2009. I don’t blame her; being married to someone for over 65 years, and then them not being there suddenly is terrible. I just wish I could have known her better before she died.
The funeral is over with now too. Saw some family I haven’t in years, and some I couldn’t even remember their names… Grandma looked beautiful in her casket tho, wearing the same outfit she had at her 50th wedding anniversary. The flowers were all so beautiful too. I got to take a carnation from the top of it.
The second new thing is that I got to see Amanda after almost three years. Yep. She came up here from CT to see Grandma before she died too. So she’s here for now, and came over last Wednesday. Not sure what will happen in the near future, but something’s gotta.
Been listening to the country radio most of the day. It’s been nice to hear all the songs I love. Taylor Swift, Jason Aldean, Miranda Lambert, Sugerland, Carrie Underwood, Luke Bryan, and many others. ‘Cause “lemme show ya how country feels…” One of my faves is by Little Big Town, Pontoon.
Back this hitch up into the water
Untie all the cables and rope
Step onto the astro turf
Get yourself a Coors
And let’s go
Who said anything about skiin’?
Floatin’ is all I wanna do
You can climb the ladder
Just don’t rock the boat while I barbeque
On the pontoon
Makin’ waves and catchin’ rays up on the roof
Jumpin’ out the back, don’t act like you don’t want to
Party in slow motion
Out here in the open
(Hoo hoo hoo)
Eric can’t stand that song, but I like it. I wouldn’t mind going on a pontoon for awhile… it’d beat the coldness here. I can’t wait for spring. Spring here in IN is one heck of a thing. I love it. That and summer. Fall had its beauties but I loved the wild winds of spring and the warmness of the summer evenings. I have so many great memories from those days. It’s nuts how we’re so close to that spot, and yet we’re far from it too. Insane.
A prospective rental has been spotted. There’s nothing to tell yes or no at this point, so I’m not counting on anything right now. I had been planning on getting a job down in South Whitley, but I’m gonna haveta wait until we check out this house as it’d be a bit of a drive to work if I did. :/ It’ll be all right tho!
Got a package in the mail today, from a loverly friend of mine in Cali… Joy sent me a character drawing of one of my book characters, and a sketchbook, since I lost mine. I still haven’t found it; it must be in a random box someplace in our stuff in Bedford. I can’t say how nice it will be to have a room with my stuff in it again, that’s my own room, and I know where everything is. :) But Joy’s awesome like that. She’s just like that. :)
Well, that’s all I have for now, so… maybe sometime before the week ends I’ll have something else important to write about. Maybe I’ll get my hair done sometime soon. It’d be great to have that change. :) And Grandma says she’ll do it for me… just gotta do it. And get the colour for it. eheheheheh!
’til next time,
Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve been on my blog. A lot has been happening since I last blogged. We’ve traveled over thousands of miles, seen people we haven’t for years and had a few moments we’d wished had turned out differently. I’m in Indiana now. Traveled all the way to Costa Rica, went back to New Mexico, and now I’m in my home-state now. It’s funny, actually; I’m staying right down the road from our old house. It’s a weird thing. It’s almost like we’ve ended up right where we started. But we can’t live there anyways… someone else bought the house. Not to mention the barn burned down anyways, along with the crab apple tree. So yeah. It’s been interesting living so close to home, and yet so far from it too.
I am doing all right. I completed NaNoWriMo, except my book still isn’t finished. Moving kinda got in the way of all that, ya know… Ups and downs, bumps in the road…. and I’m out of a computer. Yeah, so sharing one computer with the whole Family, except Dad and Jocelyn. It’s been a ride, the whole last few years of my life. Changes happen, though… just like not being with Jocelyn for awhile. I’m looking forward to the time when we can be together again…. which is weird… I never thought she’d be so far away for as long as I have to say that.
It’s all white here too. It’s not just cold, but white here too. It’s my first real winter since leaving in 2010, which is kinda weird, since we lived here for over ten years… Coming back has been strange.
I’ve been looking into a few things: tattooing for starters. Not sure if that will go anywhere. I hope to get a paying job soon, which will be interesting. I liked working at the House of Hope Thrifty Boutique, and I’d love to find a little shop like that to start out in, but I’ll have to see what happens. You gotta start somewhere. I still want to illustrate… I think I might have a chance in the art business, whether with tattooing or illustration. If only I could get doing it. I mean, having no supplies doesn’t help feed that inspiration; it kinda dims it. It kinda makes you doubt your ability to do anything. but… “do what you can, with what you can, where you are now.” So I’m trying.
I’ve still not finished The City and the Stars by Arthur C. Clarke. I am really enjoying that book. I guess Fahrenheit 451, The Time Machine and The Hunger Games have just opened up my craving for Science Fiction. Now I am even beginning to write a sci-fi book when I thought before it was totally out of my reach. I have Atonement by Ian McEwan; Jocelyn watched the movie with Keira Knightly and Jame MacAvoy, so I looked up the book. I found my copy at the thrift store, so I was glad. [I found most of my recent books there...] So it’s on the reading list, along with a few others. Those are in Bedford, though, along with all the rest of my stuff. Shtinks. So yeah. That’s that in the book world.
It’s been nice seeing family up here. I got to visit with my Great-Grandma… she had been in the hospital with a blood clot. She’s been all right, but I know it must be hard for her. She’s quite an independent person, and likes to have things a certain way, and dislikes having people waiting on her, but what’s she to do for now? I hope we can go up and visit her again soon. I need to remember to call her more often. I know she likes hearing from me… since I barely say two words when I’m sitting in the room with her. I earned the nickname of quiet little lady from her a couple of years ago. The thing is, if I don’t have anything to say, I don’t say anything. I was going to take some of my art pieces up to her because I know how much she likes seeing them, but I didn’t get to. When I see her next, I will take them along.
I’m glad we are finally living in a house that we can have to ourselves. I do not living with other people. It’s all right for awhile, but people, especially families, need their own spaces/homes. Our neighbour, who we lived b and cleaned for for years, is letting us stay in his house while he is in FL. He’s gonna be there for a couple more months yet, and hopefully we’ll be back on our feet by then. :)
It’s been a little sad with Jocelyn not here. I knew it would be before she left, but I keep forgetting she’s not here and I go to tell her something, and it’s like, ‘Oh, right. Dummy.’ So yeah. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the distance. I don’t mind the time or the not being here, it’s the not seeing her is the problem. I haven’t seen my oldest sister in years, and I hate it. I hate the distance. I don’t like distances. We don’t agree. So that’s something new I’m coping with. :)
I don’t know what else to write about… that’s all for now. :) I know, I’m being a terrible blogger nowadays. Maybe when my life gets a little more interesting, I’ll have something to tell you all about. Whoever you all are. :)